Retro(game)spectives - Tin Star

Retro(game)spective

Every day Ben “Ben Pack” Pack or one of his brave compatriots will play a retro game, and break it down for you. That’s right, every day. To complain about us eventually missing a day or suggest your own, go ahead and comment below the article, or email us at retrogamefunclub@gmail.com

9/24/2010

The Game: Tin Star

It's like the Wild Wild West movie, but not shitty.

Release Year: 1994

Skewes: SNES

So what’s it like: Forget Red Dead Redemption, forget GUN, because before all of that, there was a little western game by the name of “Tin Star.”

What a crappy job... get it?

“Tin Star” is a shooting gallery-like game that can be used with a normal controller or the SNES Super Scope. You play the titular role of Tin Star, a new sheriff in town set to take down the mastermind criminal Black Bart. Oh, also they’re robots. Everything is a robot.

This bartender could not be more bored.

The shooting is simple enough, as you travel from level to level, with quick-draw boss stages at the end of each “day,” with the game taking place over a week. Now while the shooting is very straight-forward, what makes this game shine is its style.

I don't think he's gonna recover from that one.

The game has a very goofy style to it. The enemies are all over the top, from the Abbot and Costello-like shot gunners, to the chili pepper gunners with drug-like induced facial expressions. The story is ridiculous, in a good way, and while there could be no story at all, the one the provide is both fun and unpredictable.

Should you go back: Yes. While the gameplay is nothing special, the quirky art style and humor make this game at least worth playing.

Should this game be remade: Yes. As a downloadable game, a “Tin Star” remake could really shine. Maybe motion controls, ala “Dead Space: Extraction,”

Retro(game)spective - Chester Cheetah: Too Cool to Fool

Retro(game)spective

Every day Ben “Ben Pack” Pack or one of his brave compatriots will play a retro game, and break it down for you. That’s right, every day. To complain about us eventually missing a day or suggest your own, go ahead and comment below the article, or email us at retrogamefunclub@gmail.com

9/23/2010

The Game: Chester Cheetah: Too Cool to Fool

Spoiler alert: this game sucks.

Release Year: 1992

Skewes: SNES

So what’s it like: Advergames: games that either feature a mascot or a product from a company. Usually, they aren’t great, or even good. “Chester Cheetah: Too Cool to Fool” is no exception.

That's one cool cat. Get it?

You play as Cheetos mascot Chester Cheeta, who must do something to get something… I don’t really remember the story. I’ll let the following picture speak for itself.

Nothing I write here would be funnier than this.

The game is a typical platformer. You jump on enemies to kill them, collect symbols to get extra lives, jump over dangerous hazards like… water. The main problem is the controls are some of the worst ever on the console. Everything moves super slow. Jumping then moving in air provides little actual movement, so you’re screwed if you’re close to hitting something. There are levels where you have to swing on vines, but to catch them you have to press up at the exact moment where you are touching the vine, which can be very hard. To put it simply, it sucks.

Mr. Cheetah is tripping balls.

Should you go back: No. Nobody should, or ever should have play/played this game. You are a terrible person if you like it, or a fool if you liked it back then (like me).

Should this game be remade: Yes. Just kidding, eff that.

Retro(game)spectives - Punch-Out!!

Retro(game)spective

Every day Ben “Ben Pack” Pack or one of his brave compatriots will play a retro game, and break it down for you. That’s right, every day. To complain about us eventually missing a day or suggest your own, go ahead and comment below the article, or email us at retrogamefunclub@gmail.com

9/22/2010

The Game: Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!

And yet another edition of: "Box art that doesn't look like the game at all."

Release Year: 1987

Skewes: Arcade, NES, Virtual Console

So what’s it like: “Punch-Out!!,” at it’s core, is an action puzzle game. You play as Little Mac, a tiny boxer with a heart of gold and balls of steel. You must fight your way through 3 classes and a total of 12 different opponents to get the title belt.

HOLY SHIT THE FIST IS LITERALLY FLYING AT ME!

While appearing to be a sports/fighting game, “Punch-Out!!” is a cleverly disguised puzzle game. Enemies have tells, whether it be a blink, a nod or a blinking gem in a turban. Yeah, that’s another thing about “Punch-Out!!,” it’s super racist.

Retro(game)spective - Knights of the Round

Retro(game)spective

Every day Ben “Ben Pack” Pack or one of his brave compatriots will play a retro game, and break it down for you. That’s right, every day. To complain about us eventually missing a day or suggest your own, go ahead and comment below the article, or email us at retrogamefunclub@gmail.com

9/21/2010

The Game: Knights of the Round

Release Year: 1991 Arcade, 1994 SNES

Good thing the characters totally look like this in the game...

Skewes: Arcade, SNES

So what’s it like: Think final fight, but with swords. Well, more swords. “Knights of the Round” is a side-scrolling beat-em-up set in the age of King Arthur. You play as either the king, or one of his fellow knights of the round Lancelot or Perceval, who must defeat Garibaldi, the most flamboyant of evil dictators.

If Liberace was a knight.

Like other beat-em-ups such as “Streets of Rage,” the game’s characters each have their own stats. Although basic, each character has two attributes, speed and strength. Unlike “Streets of Rage,” blocking is a key component, as you can die in an average of 4-5 hits. There is also a timer, which won’t be a problem if you don’t dilly dally and slice dudes up.

Retro(game)spectives - Contra: Hard Corps

Retro(game)spective
Every day Ben “Ben Pack” Pack or one of his brave compatriots will play a retro game, and break it down for you. That’s right, every day. To complain about us eventually missing a day or suggest your own, go ahead and comment below the article, or email us at retrogamefunclub@gmail.com

9/20/2010

The Game: Contra: Hard Corps



Release Year: 1994

Skewes: Genesis

So what’s it like: Contra. Odds are you have heard of it, whether it be the original Contra on the NES, to one of several sequels/reboots. “Contra: Hard Corps” is the sixth Contra game and the first to not be exclusive to Nintendo consoles. Taking place thirty years after “Contra III: The Alien Wars,” you play as one of four commandoes who must take down a former military war hero and his plans to bring back the aliens, or something.

Why choose any other character when you can pick a robot?

Look, I don’t need to tell you much, if anything at all, about the story. You run to the right and shoot. There are several different weapon upgrades that are unique for the different characters, but all share a theme (such as homing or spread shot).

Retro(game)spectives - Faceball 2000

Retro(game)spective

Every day Ben “Ben Pack” Pack or one of his brave compatriots will play a retro game, and break it down for you. That’s right, every day. To complain about us eventually missing a day or suggest your own, go ahead and comment below the article, or email us at retrogamefunclub@gmail.com

9/19/2010

The Game: Faceball 2000 (MIDI Maze)

Because they are faces. And they are also balls. Do you understand?

Release Year: 1992 (SNES Version)

Skewes: Atari ST, Atari 8-bit family, Game Boy, Game Gear, SNES

So what’s it like: “Faceball 2000” is a remade version of the 1987 Atari ST game “MIDI Maze.” It’s one of the earliest first-person shooters which has you, a customizable face, shooting balls at other faces.

Never has an enemy been more accurately named.

You traverse around different arenas killing a certain number of the other faces and collect upgrades. There is a story mode and a two-player verses mode, along with a secret arena mode. The controls are clunky, the graphics are terrible, the A.I. is either too dumb to do anything or ball-breakingly hard.