Retro(game)spective - Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Every day Ben “Ben Pack” Pack or one of his brave compatriots will play a retro game, and break it down for you. That’s right, every day. To complain about us eventually missing a day or suggest your own, go ahead and comment below the article, or email us at retrogamefunclub@gmail.com.

2/15/2011

The Game: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Note: Less cool dudes and fire, more Shotround.

Release Year: 1987

Skewes: NES (and a whole bunch of different versions, but I played the NES one)

So what’s it like: Last week I played a surprisingly fun cross-medium tie-in video game. This week I was not so lucky. I ended up playing Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom for the NES.

If I had a nickle for every time I've heard "touch kid to see prize"...

Temple of Doom is a sidescrolling platformer where Indie must collect a bunch of shirtless boys before time comes up. Yeah, I know, it's creepy. Even creepier than Michael Jackson's Moonwalker. Seriously the goal of every level is to pull shirtless boys out of small holes, where they will reward you with keys, knives, or other random items. There are two main segments, a platforming part and a minecart part. The integration between the two is confusing, as there is no map and you end up wandering around aimlessly. The platforming is terrible, whenever you jump, you jump forward and down. And every level has dangerous lava below. So unless you are pressed against the wall, jumping will kill you instantly. This game isn't good.

I don't know what's worse. The shirtless boys or the hunchbacked Nazi.

Should you go back: No.

Should this game be remade: No. Do what Speilberg can't, put a bullet in Indie.