Retro(game)spective - Pit-Fighter

Retro(game)spective

Every day Ben “Ben Pack” Pack or one of his brave compatriots will play a retro game, and break it down for you. That’s right, every day. To complain about us eventually missing a day or suggest your own, go ahead and comment below the article, or email us at retrogamefunclub@gmail.com.

10/02/2010

The Game: Pit-Fighter (SNES)

NO GRANDMA, FUCK I SAID PITFALL NOT PIT-FIGHTER.

Release Year: 1990

Skewes: SNES (There were more ports, but they were all so different that I am focusing on the SNES one.)

So what’s it like: “Pit-Fighter” is the worst game ever. Ever. People might say E.T., or Superman 64, but this game makes those look like Shadow of the Colossus.

You're gonna have to pay for that.

“Pit-Fighter” is a fighting game. I think. You play as one of three characters (a kick boxer, a wrestler, and a martial artist) and fight eight other dudes. That’s the story. You can punch, kick, and use a super. If you were to play this game for the first time, you would flail around trying to kick and punch and super your enemies. But if you were like me, you played through this as a child and figured out not only did your parents hate you for buying this, but you could stand over your opponent and punch and punch and punch until you win the game.

HERP DERP DERP

Nobody should have ever played this game, or ever again play this game. I really hope that I was the last person to ever play this, and am really considering a lobotomy to erase any memories of playing this.

Should you go back: No. Never. Even if your family was being held by a kidnapper, and they demanded you play this game for five minutes.

Why is the crowd made out of silly putty?

Should this game be remade: Yes. All the cartridges should be remade into tires or something.